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By Katie (Katie) on Friday, March 01, 2002 - 11:35 am
PART I He barged in the back door. I promised myself I would not flinch. The screen door slammed behind him. He threw my book on the table. It clapped at maximum volume and slid. The chair crutched his weight. That man stared me down. My armor thickened and I blinked slowly. The dishwasher gurgled; glasses stirred and rattled. The fluorescent lights sharpened their buzz. He shook his head and looked down. I kept my eyes on him. He pushed his jaw to the side. For seconds he froze, bent and rigid. Eventually, he convulsed with one sarcastic laugh. A palpable wave rippled towards me. �How could you publish this fucking bullshit?� He paused, collecting anger in his lungs. �You are such a fucking whore!� Then he sat down. Heels of his hands pressed his forehead. He whimpered. I kept my eyes on him. PART II Many cycles of the warm ball in the sky have I scampered discretely to this window pane, blending slowly to the hue and texture of the solid wood structure, reveling in the rays which give me life and draw the attention and presence of that deliciously persistent winged creature, which I hunt with tongue (my most accurate and reliable weapon � and, therefore, most beloved), ever buzzing and thudding against glass while I wait and watch, gather my faculties about me and stay still, stock still, like a stone, and while I am as still as the window pane itself, I give thanks to the gods for the buzzing thud-bumper�s inability to learn (there are usually at least two other windows open in the cabin, but cousin after cousin, day after day they come here to this window pane � and I don�t blame them, there is such glorious heat to be had), but sometimes the little suckers are so cute and thump out a rhythm so compelling I have to physically resist the urge to rise up on my hind legs, lift my camouflaged front toes to the glorious blue sky and bust a groove, saying � "Thank you, Mr. Thud-Bumper, thank you!" � my tail twitching on the off-beat; only once have I given in to this urge, just lost my senses completely and let that beat pulse through me � "uh huh, uh huh" - and while it provided such an overwhelmingly euphoric adrenaline rush, and I mean, a whole-lizard body-tingle torrent of emotion, I scared the poor fellow off and had to wait � replete of energy, guilt writhing in my tiny bones � an hour or more for him to return and by then my resolve to eat him was more steadfast (realizing my fear of starvation was more powerful than his magnificent percussive abilities), but after he was plucked by my most accurate and reliable weapon, I felt his music inside of me as the ball in the sky fell slowly behind the mountain. |
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By KateC (Katec) on Friday, March 08, 2002 - 11:19 am
Part 1 I love �He paused, collecting anger in his lungs.� The short sentences lend themselves well to the man�s helpless rage, and the repetition of �I kept my eyes on him� is very effective, giving the narrator a position of power, not reacting, just watching while the man flails around. Great job. Part 2 This is just beautiful. It made me remember the gecko lurking on the windowsill when I stayed in Hawaii, not green but matching the wood. I never dreamed that in his infinite blended-in stillness, he was fighting the urge to get up and dance! I love the part at the end �I felt his music inside of me as the ball in the sky fell slowly behind the mountain.� |
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By Eithne (Eithne) on Saturday, March 09, 2002 - 08:55 am
These are both so unexpected. Such good ideas, I think I am jealous:-) #1 You actually achieved some semblance of rhythm with out breaking the rules. Bravo! I love the rhythm and all around sound of, �The dishwasher gurgled; glasses stirred and rattled. The fluorescent lights sharpened their buzz.� I was really surprised by, �How could you publish this fucking bullshit?� Very funny! #2 Wow this is so good. What a totally refreshing way to look at the lizard on the windowsill. I don�t even know what else to say, but; WOW, this is so cool! |
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