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By Vince (Vince) on Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 07:44 pm
PART 1 It's just like the dream. His reflection stares from the dark window. Something moves in his vision. Was it in his reflection? Was it behind the glass, outside? He makes slow, careful movements. No one knows he's here. He should flip the light off. He should run, shout, hide. But each step brings his reflection closer. His arm draws up, towards the glass. It's impossible to track the sound. It's behind him. It's outside. It's just his imagination. There's probably nothing out there. Then, again, that sound. His feet are at the wall. His head moves slowly forward. Each moment is familiar. He can recite it from his dream. His fingers touch cool glass. His reflection swirls, collapses into fog. A pale, grinning face comes clear. A feral grin, rising through the fog. PART 2 He�d never really thought about it, the question Amy asked at bed-time last night, waiting as she usually did until after the story and good-night kiss, waiting until his finger was on the light switch, then quietly asking why angels never have beards when God has such a large one and how many times a day do angels have to shave, but think about it he did during his long fitful sleep, with a growing feeling of unease less centered on his lingering but uncertain faith (�I still believe�, he�d say to his friends with a wry smile, �but the devil�s in the details�) and more in an odd sense of something hidden being revealed, a feeling that grew particularly strong toward dawn when his restless mind always moved to logistics and he pictured rows of gleaming razors, finely honed, wafer thin blades, ready to cut through stubble to skin, ready to cut the skin, as happens with blades, quietly but violently drawing blood, and if heaven contained this, he asked the shadows outside his window, what else? |
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By KateC (Katec) on Saturday, March 16, 2002 - 10:13 pm
Wow! I love both of these. In my own writing, I really struggled with the choppiness of the short sentences, but this one flows as smooth as window glass. Part 2 is stunning, and reminded me of the Sandman comic series, with its angels who took over the running of Hell after Lucifer abdicated. Same decidedly uneasy feeling. I just love the rows of gleaming razors, finely honed... Great job. |
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By Katie (Katie) on Wednesday, March 20, 2002 - 06:22 pm
Great use of the short sentence in the first part. It fits perfectly. In Part two, I liked the idea about children asking the most insightful questions. Did he say he still believes before or after his daughter asked about the angels shaving? Have you ever heard of the Lightning Field in Arizona? Reminds me of your razors, also. |
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