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By Katie (Katie) on Monday, February 18, 2002 - 10:35 pm
Belinda crawled in a cold sweat and labored breathing toward the telephone the framed photographs of planets taken by her high power telescope were circling around her blurred as if she were the sun and time was speeding forward white walls expanded and contracted Belinda drew a deep breath and pressed her face to the cool hardwood floor she remembered a time like this in college but then she knew the reason stress and kegs of beer tend to make the room spin on occasion this time was different one moment she sat in her leather recliner sipping organic earl black tea reading the outer reaches of space Gina warming her lap the next she grew dizzy dropped slowly to the ground with a smack of the book a crash of the mug she clung to the floor then moved through an astronomers nightmare toward help Danny she called but she knew he was out playing bingo at the club Danny she called again Gina thinking Belinda was practicing yoga again stretched one paw toward her then another Gina call Danny Kitty please get me the phone |
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By KateC (Katec) on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 11:21 am
Great job! I especially like the way the astronomy photographs are orbiting in her vertigo, and the cat thinking she's practicing yoga again, completely oblivious. That touch makes it immediate and believable and extremely scary. |
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By Eithne (Eithne) on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 01:02 pm
I have to agree with the above. The same things really struck me about this piece. The image of the photographs orbiting is such a nice idea. Beautiful, yet really creepy. |
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By John (John) on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 01:59 am
Also, and yeah, I just loved the whole story...but the great thing was being able to read dialogue, and even the word trick of, "...an astronomers nightmare toward help Danny she called..." where toward help is the end of one phrase and "help Danny" is another...nice. ..but whay an astronomer's nightmare? just the spin of stars? Anways, I love it. |
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By Elisabeth (Elisabeth)
on Sunday, February 24, 2002 - 12:01
am
I like this a lot! It's a great choice of subject because it's crisis and memory and crisis again and all of that adrenaline and fear which knows no punctuation. I also like the touch at the end with the cat and even in crisis she realizes what the cat is up to, associating yoga, which suggests a much happier occasion by contrast. Nice! |
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