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By Hoby (Hoby) on Sunday, February 17, 2002 - 03:54 pm
Terrible terrible in the winds of the Maker 'n the tales of the Taker taken ALL the fishes throughout the Bread Buckets of time and time and time and time again and the Maker the one the ONLY He pertains to His own commandments across my sidewalk my windblown Home of penitent majesty is at center triangulation to the five corners of man must must MUST find and apprehend suspected Aluminum Foiling arranged in holy sacrament for the next visitation of the Visitors to let them understand my HOLIEST OF HOLY DEAR LORD krhk I BESEECH THEE FOR THE GOLDEN LIGHT OF TODAY'S PATH for what must begotten has begat the trinity in my hands therefor blessed to be tools of thy Lord in Heaven beyond every Path and dog shit must be stepped OVER in the name of the philistines waiting in sinful clusters around for the Visitor Buses to take them to WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN AT you sinners bearing the mark of the devil inside THE MARK OF THE DEVIL INSIDE you must not veer from the righteous for THE DEVIL IS NOT RIGHTEOUS IN HIS NAME says the book of the Lord paragraph 287 778 321 is the address of the Foiling I tell thee not of the mystery in His ways as they bestow SPARE A BIT OF CHANGE MA'M the riches of Eden upon THANK YOU VERY MUCH MA'M GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES the chosen and the worthy of creations children one Day be free from the Visitors and their sinful ways of etc etc etc |
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By John (John) on Monday, February 18, 2002 - 11:25 am
Wow, I so get this guy! I've so often wanted to be in the brain of a mumbler...you know, those homeless types who just keep up the chatter but who knows what's on the inside. Clever use of breaks, good stuff. |
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By Katie (Katie) on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 10:24 am
The cool thing about this exercise is the freedom of overlapping thoughts and you have created a perfect little piece to show it off here. Ok, so at first I didn't get any of it, but without punctuation there can be many interpretations which is one of the points we're supposed to get from this exercise, right? I read it a few more times and caught the rhythm which was very well done. Amazing what a few capitalized letters and repetition can do. This reminds me of listening to young children who make up 30 minute songs spontaneously and integrate anything and everything they see and want and do into the words. Reading this piece over again imagining the speaker as a child instead of an adult, makes it even more chilling. We have no idea what this person looks like. Great contribution. |
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By Eithne (Eithne) on
Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 01:20 pm
I love the mumbleing monolouge and can almost smell the guy.In fact, I think I saw him on the bus just yesterday! I'd like to read more description of what he's wearing and doing with his hands etc, etc. I think you should incorporate this guy (and his mumbleing) into a longer story. He's a great character. |
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By Elisabeth (Elisabeth)
on Saturday, February 23, 2002 -
11:36 pm
The absence of puncuation serves you well in writing this self righteous madman, as his inner-outer dialogue certainly has no end. It's almost like an equation that goes on infinitely, eh? I like the Bread Buckets of Time and windblown Home of penitent majesty. The layout of etceteras is a nice finish in place of an ellipsis. |
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